Aftermath
by Summerhorse
Summary: Roy steps in it big time, Riza contemplates ending his life for himAU: Just a quickie, inspired by a discussion with my own spouse about what a RoyRiza marital dispute would look like...


Roy rarely fought with Riza but when he did it was explosive. Their fights were not explosive in the sense that they argued loudly and violently, although they did, they were explosive more in the sense that things tended to blow up. Literally.

This time was no exception.

His beautiful wife stood twitching her fingers among the ashes that used to be their storage shed, red-faced and panting with that _look_ sparking in her copper eyes. Red-faced and panting himself, Roy had to admit he was very intimidated by that look. The Look in question was the one where Riza was obviously mentally weighing whether or not Roy was done destroying their property. He was in big trouble. He had fire, sure, and military training enough to hold his own, but she had that sidearm tucked under her jacket. Roy was convinced that Riza wasindeed _that_ angry and he was dead sure she was faster with that thing than Roy was with his fingers.

Okay, so he'd gotten a little out of hand. It was only a shed though; it wasn't as if he'd burned down the house this time. Besides, if Riza hadn't been snooping around, she would never found out about that time with that other female officer whose name Roy couldn't remember in the first place, so long ago. He was adamantly sticking with the argument that they'd just started dating one another, so they weren't technically exclusive and therefore he'd had the freedom to sleep with whomever he wanted. Then. It wasn't as if he was sleeping around now.

By the deadly countenance in front of him, however, Roy thought maybe his wife was not going to buy it. He also thought that blowing up Riza's weapon shed, the one she'd just had built behind their new house and spent all week painting, was probably a really dumb idea. It could possibly be one of the dumbest ideas he'd ever had, and he'd had some really stupid ones. He was beginning to think that other girl was right up there on the list.

He was also wishing that Riza would do _something. _Roy squirmed but didn't move. He knew better than to speak, and he sure as hell knew better than to put his hand down. It posed, thumb and middle finger together under white gloves, waiting to defend him from whatever was coming.

_"YOU…_ you… AAARGH!" Riza snatched her weapon and Roy flinched, counting his life as over. When he didn't immediately perish he opened his eyes. Riza was aiming at him, contemplating, but she seemed to come to some internal decision and threw up her hands instead of blowing him into oblivion. She looked at the sky and screamed at nothing. The primal rage that Roy was positive could only come from a woman echoed into the distant hills, flushed birds from their hidden perches, and scared the crap right out of him.

"Look, Riza…" he still didn't put his hand down, but tried to reason with the volatile woman's temper. "I know I shouldn't have done this. I'm sorry. Let's just step down a bit, maybe go inside and have tea, talk this out. Okay?"

She blinked at him and deadpanned. "You're sorry."

"Yes. I'm sorry."

"Sorry. _Sorry?_ Sorry is for when you bump into someone. Sorry is for when you when you're being sympathetic. Sorry is _not _for when you blow up someone's pride and joy when they confront you about the fact that you'd been cheating on them." The Look flared and Riza's volume increased. "You are so far beyond _sorry_ I don't think there's a term for it yet!"

Roy weighed his options and decided to take his chances. He dropped his hand and peeled his gloves off, dropping them into the sooty dirt next to his boot. If Riza killed him, at least this would be over and he would no longer care that the neighbors were staring out their window at them, being as unhelpful as ever. "I can fix it. I _will _fix it. I promise."

"Like you promised to fix our first house? Remember that one, the reason we had to buy this one?"

"I know, but it turned out to be a lot more complicated than I thought it was going to be. And you like this house!"

"I _liked_ my new shed."

"Yeah, and I'll fix it. _This_ I can fix!" He privately thanked the higher powers that there was no wind and all the shed's pieces were still there.

Riza seethed silently and Roy waited. Now that he'd accepted the fact he was going to live, he hoped fervently that she didn't change her mind. He wasn't going to open his mouth and possibly say something stupid that would throw her in that direction, not while she still had the pistol in her hand at least.

When Riza had made a visibly concerted effort to calm herself she spoke quietly, lowering and holstering her weapon. "Yes. You can fix this. And you _will_ fix this. Then I have a list of other things for you to do around here, too."

Roy sighed, relaxing slightly. He might just get out of this. "Of course. Anything, just tell me what you need done. And about that girl…" he hesitated a bit when Riza tensed at his words, "she couldn't shoot the broad side of a barn."

Riza's mouth fell open before she clamped it shut again, her eyes softening. She picked her way through the rubble and stood close enough to whisper in his ear. "Thank you."

Roy reached up and smoothed away the hair that had fallen from her ponytail. "I'm so sorr- yeah. Well, you know. I'm going to fix this."

She studied him closely before replying. "Go to it. I'll be inside." She took a few steps towards the house, whistling sharply for Black Hayate who came bounding around the gate towards her, before she turned back to him again. "Oh, and Roy?"

He smiled at her, raising his eyebrows.

"Be very, very glad that I hadn't put my weapons _in_ the shed yet and that they're still intact." She strode away with Hayate trotting closely behind. Roy's eyes widened as the horrific thought crossed his mind of what she would have done to him- his private parts specifically- if that had been the case.

He watched her enter the house they shared before grinning to himself. Leaning down to dig arrays in the dirt around what was left of the shed he reflected on his relationship with his fiery blond.

Their marriage wasn't perfect, by far, but hell if he'd trade that woman for any other in this universe or the next. He was a lucky man.


End file.
